I'm surprised how many people are surprised that I'm not still blogging about American Idol. Like all endurance projects, this one had an end in mind, and like this season of the show, this project has come to an end. Of course, now that the season's over, some of my contractual obligations have loosened, and in three months I'll be eligible to sign a record contract. So, please, keep those offers coming! Like most blogs, this one is organized with the most recent posts at the top. If you want to read the entire three-month diary of my American Idol Audition training, scroll to the bottom and work your way up. If you just want to peruse the greatest hits, check out some of my fondest training memories, like the time I went high heel training, the time I toasted myself at the tanning salon, the time I campaigned in front of Fox HQ, my practice interview with Tabitha Soren, my solid gold weight training, and of course, the behind the scenes pix I took until they stopped me... Meanwhile, this is my absolute final post (sniffle), so I'll bid you a fond farewell and thank you for reading. It amazes me how many people I connected with over this silly site--even if my family thought I was crazy! Big ups to those who came to my show at 667 Shotwell (especially Chris Sollars, who helped me shoot a fictional re-enactment video of my audition)! Be sure to check out this blog and its iPod translation in the Rhizome Artbase 101 show, at New York's New Museum of Contemporary Art, June 23-Sept 10. {Update: Here is the NY Times review of the show.} Hugs and kisses in the key of E, marisa.
No More American Idol Secrets
By now the cat’s out of the bag:
I got rejected!!! I made it all the way to the Executive Producers, only to be turned down. After eating, sleeping, and breathing American Idol for so many months, one might ask, “Was it all for nothing?” I think not. In short, this was not so much an effort to become an Idol contestant as it was a performative exploration of the norms bound up with the show. I also thought of it as quite political—I wanted to get young people thinking about the practice of voting in the lead-up to the 2004 Presidential elections, which ran parallel to the lead-up to my audition. This, I think, worked. (How fun that my audition aired on the night of the State of the Union!) Over 6,000 of you wrote me to vote on what I should wear and sing and since then, another 10,000+ of you expressed your solidarity. This, to me, has been profound and I do thank you, sincerely. I’ll admit that this whole process affected me deeply, and as I progressed through the auditions, I found that I had to put many of my own stereotypes and assumptions in check.
The one thing that remains is that I love to sing and I always will. When I sang for Nigel Lythgoe, one of the two Executive Producers, he told me that I had “about as much chance of becoming the next American Idol as [he did] of becoming the next Picasso,” I was shocked. First of all, I was elated that he’d use an art reference to diss me, since this was an art project about the relationship between fame & talent. But, I’ll confess that it shook me. It took me a few days to have the confidence to sing in the shower, again. But I’ve been performing and playing with friends, since then, and I continue to love it. I may not have a body like Christina Aguilera, a voice like Mariah Carey, or a wardrobe like Beyonce Knowles, but I’m comfortable with myself. I hope that any aspiring Idol reading this will be equally as comfortable with themselves (so many of you wrote me about your insecurities), and know that while the show is great at packaging talent, it is not the only road to success. My training took the form of attempting to stand out, yet often resulted in bruises, rashes, and heartache (see above, and below). In the end I stand out anyway, and I love it here in my little corner. Thanks for stopping by.
P.S. I wanted to post some kind of update right away, but if you want to read a longer explanation of my reasons for going into training, keeping this blog, and auditioning, come back shortly for a behind the scenes diary, a statement on “why I did it” and notes on the aftermath of my American Idol audition experience. (Remember that I'm on the West Coast, so I'm posting this ten minutes before the San Francisco auditions even air, here. OOPS. UPDATE: I just saw the auditions and mine didn't even air--despite the fact that a cameraman followed me around quite a bit...) For those who are local, send me your contact info and I’ll add you to the invite list for my upcoming exhibit at 667 Shotwell, which will dig more deeply into the whole process. Go Mo!
Tattle-Tale Tuesday
Well, today is the first official day that American Idol auditions will be aired on TV. They'll continue tomorrow. I'm actually not sure if the San Francisco auditions will be on tonight or tomorrow. I'm feeling a little nervous about what will actually air. A camera crew followed me around, a bit, between auditions, and (unlike most people) all of my auditions were on-camera... By the time I made it to the Executive Producers, I was completely exhausted, my sense of hearing was wrecked by the sensorium of the Cow Palace, and I was pretty sick. I even went in for emergency surgery, the next week... Oh well. We'll see what airs. Afterwards I'll post my final updates about the auditions & I'll try to get a home movie of what airs up on your screen.
TOP SECRET: For those of you who just can't wait, you can check out an interview I gave with Jon Brumit, of NPR (Neighborhood Public Radio). Click here and scroll down to the October 20th episode of Catch & Release. The show was a contribution to The Way We Work, at Southern Exposure, which made it to Pamela Lee's Top Ten of 2004 List, in Artforum. YAY!
Stay Tuned...
Whew. I cannot remember the last time that I was this exhausted. I made it through months of training, hours of standing in line, and several auditions songs... I'm not allowed to tell you much, at this point, but I can tell you that my ears are ringing to the tune of a Whitney Houston song. If you've not had a chance to do so, please do visit my moblog page, which includes over forty photos taken over the last few days. And, meanwhile, thanks for your continued support and words of wisdom. Stay tuned to find out how I did...
Sleepy Time = Nerve City
I’m trying to hit the hay a little early because I have to get up way early. People are allowed to line up at 6am, tomorrow, for Tuesday’s auditions, but something tells me that there will be a line to get in line, so I’m going to try to get there around 4am. And I am not a morning person… Meanwhile, my nerves are killing me. Remember when I told you that I was going to meet with two-time SF-Idol-Auditioner Mike Garcia? Well, I left a phone message for him on the day that he was supposed to come meet me at my gallery and he never called me back or showed up. Then, two days ago, he sent me this e-mail:
Hey marisa,
Did not get to meet,but regardless to that I wish the best for you on tuesday.If you heard to not stand out you heard wrong...You are being judged on how diferent you are to the other contestants,you personality, your look and style and song selection.If i were you i would re-think your plan and make a 180 turn.It was advised to me that those who have been picked in the past have been those who picked songs not outside of the mainstream. You have the brains...think marisa, think.I was not a fan of your song choices...You want to stand out,not blend in.
Best of luck!!!!
Mike
Now I’m not sure if he’s messing with my mind or if I’m doing everything wrong, in which case my 3 months of training would have been entirely in vain. Ugh! I think I’m going to pull some of that Benadryl out of my bag so that I can get to sleep…
To Do List
Ok, it has hit me that there is little more than a month left before the audition and I am way behind in my training....... First of all, I've had little luck in auditioning voice coaches. This stinks! Also, my hairdresser is going to be in Italy during the auditions... This really stinks! I will say that I feel a little better after reading the amazing audition suggestions of Jen, who reminded me to be myself and not overdo anything. I don't want to overdo it, but am I underdoing it? Now that I have a "fan base," people ask me all the time why I'm not wearing my training stilettos... And I just feel like there is so much to catch up on. Here are just a few items from my to-do list:
Research & purchase camping gear, take dance lessons, select & practice a song, lose more weight, see a dermatologist, learn pilates, learn ashtanga yoga, learn bikram yoga, pick an outfit, pick a hairdo, research camping logistics: where is the site, how to get there, dietary restrictions, etc.... I also wanted to learn to play guitar, so I can play in line, to help me stand out... When I'm not playing accordion.... Meanwhile, thanks to everyone (especially Jen!) for your continued support!
Got Tips?
Well, I'm back from Europe and I'm terribly jetlagged. If I had to audition today, I fear I wouldn't succeed. This entire trip has been good training for the surely-sleepless period in which I'll camp out to croon for Cowell & Co. Speaking of "& Co," I know we're in this together... many of you are also in training and have written to share your training tips with me. A 17-year-old "hcaramel17" (who, apparently, has also been practicing walking in stilettos for long periods!) e-mailed me with this killer tip: don't drink milk before the auditions, it causes phlegm! Good one. Pass it on, campers...
Performance-Enhancing?
I identify a lot with our nation's Olympic Athletes. We've all trained hard with our eyes set on one prize.... As the Olympic hoopla mounts, I've been happy to see so many "anti-doping" ads. But it all has me thinking... I believe I may have an addiction of my own... caffeine! Back at home, I was drinking double soy lattes for breakfast, every day, and a big diet cola at lunch. Call it trainee's nerves... I needed my fixes, and I hate to say that I can now imagine how an athlete (or a songthlete) might turn to chemicals... What's happening to me?! Being in Europe, the last few days, I've consumed so much coffee. I'm simultaneously bouncing off the walls and experiencing the sedation that comes with overstimulation. My mind feels like it's underwater. Caffeinated water! I need to go home and detox. Just say no, kids!
Eat To Compete
Today is an exciting day, already. This morning I met with a nutritionist (the fabulous Nicole Britvan, for the locals who are looking), and she gave me tons of good advice. I recently switched from a lacto-ovo diet to a vegan one, to get in shape for the audition line but I wanted to make sure I wasn't doing anything dumb. I'm not one of those gals who believes in updating strangers on her weightloss, but let me tell you, the Training Diet is in full effect and it's working. Yay! And Nicole gave me some great tips, not only on what to eat in general but what to eat while camping out. Despite my fear of the "competition" getting ahold of these edgeworthy tips, I'll let you know that she recommends Lara Bars, snackbars that are only fruit & nuts (no preservatives, corn syrup, etc), and ironically enough they are made by a company called Humm. I think it is a sign.
Let the Training Begin!!!
Hi, there. So I started keeping this diary before I registered this blog, which means that the posts below are a little outdated & they are coming to you in one post, but here it is...
FRIDAY, JULY 16, 2004
Today is a GREAT day. My band had a concert, last night, and it seemed to go pretty well. On one of the songs I got a bit nervous (we had debated doing it and there were some pretty complicated cues for my bandmate to follow) and my voice warbled, but I received so much great feedback. I was also nervous because it was the first time that I’d invited many of my friends to hear me sing, but they all said such flattering things and even today some have called & e-mailed saying things like "Wow, it was a great surprise to know that you could sing like that." I’ve tended to keep my musical life private (I’ve been singing in choirs & bands since I was 9) but lately I want to make it a much bigger part of my life.
But this good feedback isn’t the biggest reason that today is such a great day. Today is SUCH a great day because something I’ve been wishing for forever has finally happened... They raised the age limit for auditioning for American Idol!!!
I couldn’t get much done at work, today. All I could think about was auditioning for Idol. I’ve been a closet Idol junkie since before it came to the US. I lived in London when Pop Idol was a huge hit and I’ve been glued to the screen ever since--even for the Junior edition! So it is thrilling to me to think that I might now, at age 27, have a chance to audition for the show. Afterall, I’ve gotten pretty settled into my life as an art critic & curator, which I love, but I’ve always regretted not pursuing music. Of course, this means that I need to begin training immediately because the San Francisco auditions are less than three months away, on October 5.
I really need to work on my voice with a coach and I feel like I need help in other areas, too... To become a true American Idol, I need a bit of a makeover--hair, physique, complexion, wardrobe... all of these are on my checklist, now.
As of today, I am officially in training. I will post regular updates here...
SATURDAY, JULY 17, 2004
Ok, so I’ve had an evening to sleep on it. I am SO excited about training for the audition, but there is a strong possibility that I won’t even get one... The Idol website says that SF auditioners can get in line as of 6am, on October 4, but being in line on time, even being first in line, does not guarantee that I will get an audition. (Check out the photo of the long audition line that I found on the Idol website!) The producers will walk up and down the line and pick people out based on their appearance, style, and singing ability. I really need to work on all of the above, then. And my goal, now, is to even GET an audition, let alone make it to the final 10... And I’m really dwelling on what my audition song will be, though I’m eager to discuss it with a trainer.
SUNDAY, JULY 18, 2004
I haven’t done much, in the way of training, today, and I’m feeling pretty guilty. Of course, I am singing in every free second, but I still have not found a vocal coach and I put off going to the gym. I'll never get an audition if I don't change my metabolism! :)
I had lunch with a musician I respect and talked about getting together to play music, along with some other musicians whom we like, but I feel a bit conflicted about this. Should I focus on my solo training? Will "jamming" with others take away from that, or is it all good for my voice & understanding of music? I just enjoy singing so much and there is nothing in the world like the high of falling into synch with other musicians.
After lunch I decided to rent a DVD of a 1979 Blondie concert (in Glasgow), to see if I can pick up any tips on performing live or looking like a pop star. Debby Harry is so amazing. Of course she is famous for having a certain sense of style and attitude, but she can truly sing and I so look up to her. I can’t believe that I was only two years old when she gave this performance--which, by the way, is great. Perhaps it’s the rebirth of 80s fashion, but I can’t help but notice that we have almost the same hair & fashion sense. (I’d love to recreate her outfit for a music video!) I wish that, alone, would bring me closer to being pulled out of the lineup and into an audition...
