No More American Idol Secrets

By now the cat’s out of the bag:
I got rejected!!!
I made it all the way to the Executive Producers, only to be turned down. After eating, sleeping, and breathing American Idol for so many months, one might ask, “Was it all for nothing?” I think not. In short, this was not so much an effort to become an Idol contestant as it was a performative exploration of the norms bound up with the show. I also thought of it as quite political—I wanted to get young people thinking about the practice of voting in the lead-up to the 2004 Presidential elections, which ran parallel to the lead-up to my audition. This, I think, worked. (How fun that my audition aired on the night of the State of the Union!) Over 6,000 of you wrote me to vote on what I should wear and sing and since then, another 10,000+ of you expressed your solidarity. This, to me, has been profound and I do thank you, sincerely. I’ll admit that this whole process affected me deeply, and as I progressed through the auditions, I found that I had to put many of my own stereotypes and assumptions in check.

The one thing that remains is that I love to sing and I always will. When I sang for Nigel Lythgoe, one of the two Executive Producers, he told me that I had “about as much chance of becoming the next American Idol as [he did] of becoming the next Picasso,” I was shocked. First of all, I was elated that he’d use an art reference to diss me, since this was an art project about the relationship between fame & talent. But, I’ll confess that it shook me. It took me a few days to have the confidence to sing in the shower, again. But I’ve been performing and playing with friends, since then, and I continue to love it. I may not have a body like Christina Aguilera, a voice like Mariah Carey, or a wardrobe like Beyonce Knowles, but I’m comfortable with myself. I hope that any aspiring Idol reading this will be equally as comfortable with themselves (so many of you wrote me about your insecurities), and know that while the show is great at packaging talent, it is not the only road to success. My training took the form of attempting to stand out, yet often resulted in bruises, rashes, and heartache (see above, and below). In the end I stand out anyway, and I love it here in my little corner. Thanks for stopping by.

P.S. I wanted to post some kind of update right away, but if you want to read a longer explanation of my reasons for going into training, keeping this blog, and auditioning, come back shortly for a behind the scenes diary, a statement on “why I did it” and notes on the aftermath of my American Idol audition experience. (Remember that I'm on the West Coast, so I'm posting this ten minutes before the San Francisco auditions even air, here. OOPS. UPDATE: I just saw the auditions and mine didn't even air--despite the fact that a cameraman followed me around quite a bit...) For those who are local, send me your contact info and I’ll add you to the invite list for my upcoming exhibit at 667 Shotwell, which will dig more deeply into the whole process. Go Mo!

Comments

[Chris J]

you tried
you explored
you gave it your all
you took a risk
you believed in yourself

you are all that
you are amazing
auditioning is hard and unpredictable

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[Chris J]

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[SHUNDRIA FICKLIN]

I AM A 24 YEAR OLD WHO CAN SING VERY WELL AND ALSO PLAY THE KEYBOARD.WILL THERE BE AUDITIONS IN ATLANTA THIS YEAR?

[SHUNDRIA FICKLIN]

I AM A 24 YEAR OLD WHO CAN SING VERY WELL AND ALSO PLAY THE KEYBOARD.WILL THERE BE AUDITIONS IN ATLANTA THIS YEAR?

[zam]

no comments

[Jeffrey]

Hi guys i made a lot of research on this and finally i found this incredible e-book plenty of tips in order to pass the audictions.
it's Incredible, i've already red it 3 times.
You'd better check it out!!!
http://www.totalbusinesscart.com/app/?af=470373
and you don't need any luck...

[Lori Wekerle]

I have a 14 year old training for Idol. Any tips?

[Jumoke]

Hey i decided to do a Shorter version of yoru story but for me two weeks lol Here is my Journey http://www.jumokemusic.com/americanidol.htm Please join the Message Board There will be Vocal Lessions and THings :-)

[Jumoke]

Hey i decided to two a Shorter version of yoru story but for me two weeks lol Here is my Journey http://www.jumokemusic.com/americanidol.htm Please join the Message Board There will be Vocal Lessions and THings :-)

[Ashley Chafins]

Love your website....I too am wanting to audition for the next American Idol...I have a friend that auditioned last year, that is a wonderful singer, but the producers told him that he looked too much like Ruben..So im so nervous about the audition, but you just have to believe that you are what they are looking for and believe in yourself....Lets just hope that I Believe the same way when its time for to audition for them..lol...Love lots

[Matt]

See lookit:

Season five
The fifth season of American Idol will be held starting in January 2006 with auditions expected to be in the summer and early autumn of 2005.

As of now, the current list of cities (tentative) are Atlanta, Austin, Boston, Chicago, Denver, Memphis and San Diego. One or two more cities may also be added later as there are usually late additions to the list.

[Matt]

Hey, I was looking to audition this next season if they have auditions in Atlanta then I am there. I could've SWORN that Ryan Seacrest said they were doing auditions in Atlanta this year. But on the Idol site theres all these dumb cities listed but no Atlanta. And they haven't posted the dates yet those %&#@#(@*@. But anyway I was wondering if you had any auditioning tips on ANYTHING WHATSOEVER and if you were going to audition again. Thanks,
Matt

[Adam]

hey I saw that you had auditioned in san fransisco at cow palace. I did the same. I made to the nigel and ken as well would love to talk to you more about your audition experience!

[savage]

see who won? don't waste your time.

Bo Bice seems to be the more talented yet carrie won which made me think is the Idol's result rigged? The search on the internet yields that Bo is the most searched idols. Polls yields the same thing. So why did Carrie win? Or is it that America doesn't know what real talent is? Carrie just seem to belt all the songs without control. Now as for Bo check out his vocal range, his style and his x factor..that's what i call an idol thru and thru.

[Raven Reeves]

Well, My husband thinks that I should go on American Idol *SIGH*. I am not to sure about the whole process and I dont really know what to do..... The music that I generally do is from Within Temptation, and Lacuna Coil. So I dont know. Guess that we will have to see.

Thanks for this site Marisa.

Raven A. R.

[eve]

so, i just decided that it's time for me to become the 2006 american idol, what do you think? i've been singing in rock bands for the past three years and have always considered myself "too real" or "too punk rock" or something for that slick, overly produced, made-for-TV business. until now, that is. i've decided it's time. (you realize, i'm sure, that i'm 60% serious and 40% joking about all this. well, maybe 90% serious.) the deal is, i think you're rad. looking around the web for info on the auditions for next year i came upon your blog and i want to pick your brain about the whole audition process. the fact that you were treating the whole thing as an art project is awesome. what in life COULDN'T be treated as an art project when you really get down to it? i feel like it's time for everyone to take their lives more seriously by learning to take themselves LESS seriously, and i think treating more of life as works of art is part of that.

i just graduated UCB with an english literature degree and i'm moving back to the area in june. want to hang out? drop me an email and let me know.

cheers,
eve

[Danielle Meyer]

Hey all!

Just wanted to let ya know that I think Marisa's web page is so fabulous, I've decided to carry on her tradition by keeping a diary of my own training process to become the next American Idol. If anyone wants to check it out, the address is http://hometown.aol.com/socalblondie83/index.html Please check it out! Thanks a lot!

PS- Marisa, Sorry ya didn't make it babe, but I think you are awesome.

Danielle

[ocean]

i want to try out for the next american idol! where can i find the info for it? by the way, i'm sorry you didn't make it! thank you
ocean

[donna]

please informy about amercan idol season 5