Make Me An Offer I Can't Refuse

So far, I must say, I have been so good... I've not asked you for endorsements or sponsorships or paypal donations or anything much, other than your undying love, support, and an occasional vote.... But now I really need your help. I need gigs. Solo gigs. I need practice singing alone, without the reinforcement of backup singers, guitarists, and the machines and film projectors that usually crackle behind me when my band performs. I will come to your cafe, I will karaoke in your bar, I will deliver a singing telegram to your special someone... Just ask!