You Can Do It--Put Your Back Into It...

Last night my friend Ian Treasure (can you see how I'm practicing name-dropping, for when it counts?) took me to see Delays, at Bottom of the Hill. It seems these four young men are at the top of the Indie Charts, back where Ian is from--"across the pond" in the parlance of Idol's creators... They were reported to be quite good and I thought that seeing 4 Brits would soften me up for Simon Cowell. Well, their harmonies were quite brilliant (more Brit parlance), and actually a bit pretty. At one point in the show I was struck with an epiphany. I know exactly how Delays got to the top of the charts... They use the All-Star Shoulder Technique. That's right, the ASST. It's when a musician leads with her shoulders. Surely you've seen it before. Sometimes they rock from side to side, slowly pushing the left, and then the right, shoulder towards the mic. Other times they use a gentle sawing motion, with one shoulder, pushing it in, pulling it out, again and again. I got home around 12:45am and practiced this technique until about 2am. (Thankfully there was an Oprah "encore presentation" on for me to watch while sawing...)